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Indian weddings and trade fairs are similar in plenty of ways. Like trade fairs, you go around for different food counters at weddings and you will surely bump into annoying but hilarious people whom you don't want to see till there is life on this planet.
Such a great number of enthusiastic social animals in one place not only makes the wedding more interesting but also they are the ones who create a lot of ruckuses in wedding ceremonies.
Most of us know well what types of people we usually meet with at weddings. However, for those who are not keen observers, we have formulated a list of different types of hilarious people that you will surely bump into at Indian weddings.
Sometimes we ponder, is matchmaking at weddings is the sole purpose of all those grannies and aunties? Weddings are the beloved battlegrounds for aunties to target all singletons and strive their level best to introduce them to other families.
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Some common lines you will hear from their never-stopping mouth are Kya Jodi Hain Dono Ki or Ye to match made in Heaven Hain Ji.
We have yet to figure out why on the earth the fufas of the family find solace in being angry all the time. Even Thanos smiled at least once in the Avengers movie but these Fufas you will always find them angry like angry birds.
The fun thing is nobody gives a damn about they being angry.
The whole wedding venue is nothing more than a playground for kids in Indian weddings. Some of them you will find dancing on the stage unnecessarily, some of them will be racing each other to become the next Usain Bolt, and some spilling the food items. There is nothing you can do to get rid from them off your sight.
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You will even find them hopping on the laps of the bride and groom and the couple be like Ab Ye kiska Baccha aa Gya?
For some aunties in weddings, it's all about peeking into the personal lives of others and judging them from head to toe. The meticulously scrutinize every aspect of the wedding from decoration to the outfits of bride and groom, wedding food, or the compatibility of the couple.
You can easily spot the separate groups of such aunties in any Indian wedding.
Those uncles who are forcefully dragged by their wives in the wedding, the alcohol give them the utmost comfort and a chance to discuss some serious world politics, general issues with other alcoholics intellectuals.
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You can easily spot their table near the bar counter at the wedding. One hand in glass and discussing any goddamn serious topic are the indicators to spot them.
The thinner than the stick, selfie-taking glam dolls are the most cliché social animals you will easily bump into at Indian weddings. Look at any corner and you will find a vivacious group of girls who are more excited than the bride, murmuring and taking millions of selfies at a time.
Needless to say, along with them, you can also find flocks of dudes nearby trying to impress them by taking duckface selfies.
They are the ones who know better than the bride or groom fathers what's exactly in the menu and which food counter is lying where. As soon as they step into the wedding function, the first task they do is hand over the envelope and hop straight to the food counters. They don't give a damn about who is getting married and they usually protect themselves from being clicked by the photographer.
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oh, this jewelry? I have bought it from Tanishq and it's just cost 2.5 lakh. If you get to hear such kind of words, congratulations, you have bumped into the exhibitionist.
No matter on which topic you talk to them all they will tell you is the price tag of their jewelry, outfit, and other exorbitant (god knows) accessories. Whoever they meet at the wedding, they will ask photographers to take pictures with them.
There is always that one group who hops on to every random wedding to gobble down free food and alcohol as much as they can. They hug all the uncles at the wedding entrance gate to show they are being invited officially.
Perfect clothes, perfect makeover, and the focus on free food and alcohol are the key traits of these outrageously shrewd beings.
He is inevitable. The person with immeasurable belly and pathar ki Lakeer words when it comes to tradition and Puja-Paath. The moment you go near to the Pandit Ji, he will expect you to touch his feet and talk trash about western culture during the short conversation.
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He is the easiest one to spot at the wedding. He single-handedly eats the food of three-persons and says he eats very less. The fun thing is nobody understands a single world he utters during the wedding rituals.
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By Shashank Gupta | 06 May, 2019
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